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International Dating: Signs You’re in a Rebound Relationship

Silhouette of a couple under a yellow sky
A rebound relationship often fails. Learn these signs to avoid becoming a rebound. | Photo by Eric Ward on Unsplash

Completely recovering from a break-up needs time. However, the recovery stage is often the hardest. Not everyone is strong enough to deal with the pain, grief, frustration, anxiety, and self-doubt alone.

To help them heal and move on, people often find themselves rushing into a rebound relationship. However, this only does worse to them than good. Being in another relationship might be rushed, but never the healing part.

This is why rebound relationships fail in the first place. Oftentimes, the person who seeks a rebound comes from an upsetting break-up.

Their frustration from that relationship leads to rushing into a new relationship. Long lasting relationships need strong connections. In a rebound romance, the beginning already reeks of failure.

A rebound relationship can lack emotional connection. Rebounds can also suffer from emotional instability and end up being worse than the breakup. Such a romantic relationship often results in short term flings.

With the availability of international dating, many see this as an alternative to quickly getting out of painful breakup aftermath. After a heart-shattering breakup, some see this as an easy access to comfort. However, they are not saved from the inevitable result of most rebound relationships: failure.

Thus, to determine if you are in a rebound relationship, here are four red flags or signs of a rebound relationship that you should watch out for:

Rebound Relationships Over Flaunt

There’s nothing wrong with showing off your new romantic partner especially after a long pursuit. However, if your new romance has just come out of a long-term relationship, there’s a tendency that they’re only using you as a rebound.

Over flaunting your relationship is a way for them to make their ex jealous. These people make themselves believe that they’ve already moved on. But the truth is, they still care about their previous relationship. To attract attention from them, they’ll flaunt your relationship on social media, or even on their friends who were aware of their break-up.

If the previous partner hasn't found another romance yet, becoming the first to enter another relationship gives them a feeling of dominance and a boost in their ego.

Going out of a long-term relationship doesn’t only have a great impact on them. It also affects the friends and family in their lives during the relationship.

These people are gonna throw them questions about the break-up. “Why did you break up?” “Who ended the relationship?” “How are you coping with the breakup?”

Answering these over and over again is not just tiring. Having gotten out of a failed relationship, they’ve become emotionally vulnerable. These questions only increase insecurity and self-doubt.

Being in another romance saves them from all the explaining they have to do. Flaunting you is like a shield that prevents people from bombarding him or her with awkward questions.

  1. Physical over emotional attachment.
  2. Breaking up with someone you’ve spent half of your life with is emotionally devastating. Pain isn’t the only feeling you’ll be dealing with; there is frustration, self-doubt, and even anxiety. Though they’re emotionally unavailable to be in another relationship yet, being in a rebound romance seemed like their only escape.

    They know that they will fail to connect with you emotionally. Thus, they focus more on giving you physical attention. After all, they have needs or habits that are hard to let go of. Getting in a rebound relationship is purely for fulfilling their longing for physical interactions.

    This set-up may be convenient to some. But, for those who are clueless that they’re being used as a rebound, they need to take note of this sign.

  3. You are constantly compared to the ‘ex’.
  4. A person who chooses to be in a rebound relationship is still likely hurting, if not gushing, over their previous partner.

    Sometimes, a relationship ends because of the other party falling out of love. In this case, the one left out feels insecure and wants to also put an end to their feelings. However, being with someone new only makes them compare him or her to their previous relationship. They subconsciously think that their previous relationship is still better than their rebound.

    Meanwhile, a person that’s been badly hurt in their previous romance tends to paint a bad picture of their ex. The unresolved conflict they have with their previous partner gives them the drive to hate them. To express this, they verbally praise you more. They constantly make it look like their ex is worse than you.

    “You cook better.” “My ex is so bad at traveling.” “You have a better taste in style.”

    However, even if the way of comparison is praising you over the ex, it’s still a sign that their former relationship is on top of their minds. They will never get over their resentment with the ‘ex’ because they weren’t addressed in the first place.

    Thus, no matter how much they avoid bringing up their ex in the picture, unconsciously, they still do. Constant comparison between you and their ex only shows that they’re still attached to the previous one. They are either desperately convincing themselves that you are better, or worse, than their previous romance.

  5. You are either too similar or too opposite from the ‘ex’.
  6. People on the rebound need continuity. They are either too hung over from their ex that they need someone just like her, or they were hurt so much that they look for the total opposite. Oftentimes, there’s no in-between.

    When relationships end, one party often says that they are ‘irreplaceable’. However, by finding someone similar to them, you’ve proven them wrong. Having to say that they are, indeed, ‘replaceable’, is comparable to winning a coveted trophy.

    On the other hand, some people prefer to be with someone different from their ex. This is to protect them from having to recall painful memories of their previous romance. They need someone totally opposite to distract them from constantly thinking of their previous one.

    But because there wasn't enough time for healing, they still end up hurting and thinking of their previous partner. Sometimes the rebound can’t fill the void. This leads to disappointment, then resentment. When a partner starts comparing you to an ex, it is one of the signs a rebound relationship is failing.

How to Avoid Getting Into a Rebound Relationship

Numbing the pain through rebound relationships is sometimes the easiest approach for people who went through a rough breakup. However, most of them just don’t announce that they’re only signing up for a rebound romance.

These people immediately proclaim true love towards you to draw you into them. If things feel rushed, it means that they are up for something not right. As the popular saying goes, anything that’s rushed is only short lived.

Know your worth. Don’t be the person who will make up for other people’s absence. Don’t be the temporary band-aid that these people desperately look for. If your goal is to be in a lasting relationship, don’t settle on someone who’s not completely over their ex yet.

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