The word traditional has taken on an almost taboo sort of meaning in recent years. This is especially the case in social matters, where past human behavior cannot be mentioned detached from oppressive acts of the same era.
In other words, asking someone today to behave “traditionally” is seen as inhibiting, old-fashioned, and oppressive. Is this the reason why men who want to build traditional households are cowering to say it?
But when it comes to the war against language and terms, we often miss the forest for the trees. What’s so bad about being traditional? What does it really mean in its purest, unspoiled sense? What do men mean when they say they want it?
Being traditional is all about character
Forget about women staying in the kitchen and all that nonsense. Few men nowadays want that from their spouses — unless it’s what the wife wants. In Western culture, we believe in the right to pursue happiness in whatever manner we see fit. If the wife wants to work, then who are we to say otherwise?
Add to that the myriad of career opportunities available to anyone regardless of gender.
Being traditional is all about magnifying the wife’s feminine traits in a perfect complement to the husband’s masculine.
As a matter of fact, there is little to distinguish a traditional wife from a good wife, just as there is little to distinguish a good husband from a traditional one.
Is a good wife a traditional one?
Here are some of the many positive traits associated with being a good wife:
Empathy
Sensitivity towards others
Resilience and Resolution
Kindness
Being a source of encouragement and support to the husband
Nurturing
Respectfulness
A strong love for family
A good wife shows empathy. She is a nurturing figure to both her husband and family. She is his strength and pillar in times of difficulty. Her strength is inward. She is both kind and respectful. She empowers her husband and her children.
This is what men want from a good, traditional wife
What distinguishes a traditional couple from others?
Let’s not make the mistake of making a rigid distinction between what is traditional and what is modern. Just because one is traditional does not mean it does not exist in modernity.
Some postmodernist views seek to subvert that which is traditional, meaning that it encourages its opposite. The woman must, by all means, be the dominant spouse. A man must give way and disregard his wishes in favor of his wife. Instead of balance, it is an over-correction in the opposite direction.
A traditional marriage setup should be neither oppressive nor inhibiting to either spouse. The husband must be allowed to bring to the fore his natural, unembellished masculinity. The wife, in part, must allow her femininity to surface in its fullness. Together, they form a yin and yang, a perfect balance.
Thus we see in this world both kinds of marriage. Truly oppressive marriages exist at the other end of the spectrum, but to call them traditional in the grand scheme of things is disingenuous.
Is traditional better?
Will life be perfect for such traditional couples? Certainly not. There will be ebbs and flows in the relationship. There will be times for compromise and forgiveness. But at their best, they have stood the test of time and have given countless couples a lifetime of happiness.
Real happiness is perhaps a reason why so many western men travel the world in search of traditional women. They don’t ask for much else but to feel like they can be part of a great team, a great family. They want to experience all the good qualities of a traditional wife.
And if you want a lifetime of happiness, then why should you ever be ashamed to want that?
This story was originally published on Medium: Why You Shouldn't Feel Bad About Wanting A Traditional Wife
