Have you been dating a Filipino woman lately? You know that maintaining a relationship has its ups and downs - and it’s the same as dating a Filipino woman.
Misunderstandings can happen and you’re not sure exactly what you did wrong.
Your Filipino girlfriend ends up sulking and refuses to talk to you until she gets over it. If you’ve experienced this, then you’re not alone.
Many men have similar experiences and if you feel like your relationship is on the rocks, then this coming Couple Appreciation Month could be your chance to express how much you appreciate your Filipino girlfriend and pull her back into your arms.
Have you heard of the 5 love languages in relationships?
If this is your first time hearing about it, then let’s give you a quick rundown. Basically, the love language idea was developed by the author, pastor, and counselor Gary Chapman, Ph.D.
In 1992, he wrote his book “The 5 Love Languages” which explains in further detail each love language. Prior to writing his book, Dr. Chapman had spent years taking notes with couples he was counseling and recognized a pattern.
He realized that most couples had fallen into misunderstandings because they could not recognize each other’s needs. And of the 5 languages, we each prefer one more than the others.
To further understand them, here are the 5 Love Languages:
When someone’s primary love language is words of affirmation, it’s about expressing affection through spoken words, praise, or appreciation.
They adore being given compliments, words of encouragement, inspirational quotes, love notes, and cute text messages.
People who give and receive love through words of affirmation tend to be people who notice and care about the details in other people’s lives.
For example, they’re usually the first to notice if their partner has a new haircut, or is wearing their favorite shirt. They are the ones who are often sensitive and aware of their surroundings.
If your Filipino girlfriend is an encourager who knows how to make others feel better, she’s also hoping you can do the same for her.
Here are a few phrases you can try out:
The Acts of Service love language can be expressed by doing something for your partner that you know they’ll like such as running their errands, cleaning up the dishes, cooking a meal for them.
Typically when your Filipino girlfriend does acts of service, she’s giving up her time. It’s a non-verbal form of love that’s both time-consuming and exhausting - but if she sees that you need it, then to her, it’s worth doing it.
To learn how to speak this type of love language, here are four things you can do:
Pay attention to the small things.
Pay attention to the things your partner doesn’t enjoy doing.
Focus on easy acts that you can accommodate into your schedule.
Utilize your strengths.
If your partner loves gifts, that means they feel loved and appreciated when you gift them with a tangible item. However, the act of gift-giving is commonly misunderstood.
If the recipient is fixated on the thing as opposed to the thought behind the gift, it can come off as greed and materialism.
But that’s not always the case.
It’s sentimentality.
A person whose love language is receiving gifts often feels loved through these items and even cherishes the gift, however small.
To them, it conveys the message: “I was thinking about you when I saw this, and I thought you might like it. Because to me, you’re always on my mind.”
A lot of couples need quality time for their relationship to grow and develop. It’s about expressing your love and attention through your undivided attention.
That means turning off all electronic gadgets, putting your phone in sleep mode, and focusing on your partner.
When you do that, they feel loved and appreciated because you’re intentionally setting aside time just for them.
But with modern technology, spending quality time with your partner is becoming both rarer and more difficult. Even when you’re together, both of you might be looking down at your phones and not really connecting with each other in a way that counts.
The lack of connectedness can leave your partner feeling empty and alone.
To give your partner quality time, you’ll need to:
Make eye contact
Use active listening skills
Focus on quality, not quantity
Develop a routine
Stay in the moment
The language of physical touch is more than physical intimacy. Although that aspect is an important part of a romantic relationship, there are also other forms of physical touch that can uplift your partner like a hug, a shoulder squeeze, a handhold, or even a pat on the back.
These gestures can be just as meaningful to your partner if physical touch is their love language.
According to Clarissa Silva, behavioral scientist and relationship coach, “Physical touch, specifically cuddling, releases oxytocin, the feel-good hormone that makes you feel like nothing can you. And in addition to the bonding created between the couple, it also helps boost your immune system.”
Physical intimacy isn’t the only way to express to your partner how much you love them. Sometimes, the simplest acts of physical touch are the most impactful.
Everyone expresses their love differently. The majority of us even have more than one dominant love language. Yet all 5 are important in order to communicate your needs to your partner.
To better identify your Filipino girlfriend’s love language, have her take a couple of 5 love languages test to check her dominant love language.
Once you figure out their preferred love language, take time to learn how to connect with them in their language. Find a way to work together to achieve mutually desired results.
The better you communicate your needs with your partner and vice versa, the stronger and healthier your relationship will become in the long-run.
