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In long distance relationships, absence makes the heart grow fonder but it also makes you lonely. | Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash
It’s said that absence makes the heart grow fonder, but does it also make the heart wander?
Despite today’s technology and globalization, our significant other may not always be within reach. There have been times when we have met someone whom we have a true connection with but who lives thousands of miles away. And as individuals have gotten more mobile, long distance relationships, or LDR, have gotten easier to manage.
Besides, proximity has no effect on compatibility. Just because you live far apart doesn’t mean you can’t be an excellent fit for one another. But, it has negative consequences in one’s relationship.
What might happen with LDR?
Most likely, the first thing that sprang to mind was infidelity. This is, without a doubt, the first thought that comes to anyone’s mind when discussing long-distance relationships.
“With them not being together, one of them is destined to cheat.”
It’s true that it can’t be ignored.
There will be those who will find a way to take advantage of the situation. However, even in close relationships, when one partner lives under the same roof, this is still true. It isn’t a one-of-a-kind situation with LDR.
It’s also important to remember that not everyone cheats.
But, if that’s the truth - if your lover has cheated you - then goodbye. Consider it a way for you to sift out terrible partners, and on the positive side, it just means you’re one step closer to discovering your true love.
“People have wants that the LDR cannot meet.”
Sure, science says we aren’t intended to exist without intimacy and love. However, we have complete control over managing these needs. That is the distinction. Besides, there are a lot of other options for satisfying these requirements.
Spending time with friends or family can make up for the temporary loss of physical intimacy from a faraway lover. It doesn’t have to end in betrayal and disloyalty.
You need to control your physical needs, at least until you and your partner meet again.
Numerous couples have remained faithful and their romance has retained its passion while being apart from one another. So, how do they manage to accomplish it?
Stay optimistic
Know that, despite being an LDR, your relationship can and will work out. As the saying goes, if you believe in something, it will come true. When it comes to long-distance relationships, you must believe in them in order for them to succeed.
You must trust that things will work out in order to avoid making excuses when confronted with temptation. When you don’t have trust in your relationship, it’s tempting to think, “This relationship is doomed to collapse anyhow, why should I hold myself back?”
Focus on the bright side
Jealousy, anxieties, and doubts. These may easily worry and plague LDR couples for days on end. You’re worried about not seeing your lover and the possibility of them spending time with someone else. But have a little confidence in your partner.
Instead of panicking and psyching yourself out, consider all of the advantages of being in an LDR. There’s self-improvement, more time with family, potential professional growth, and so much more. In fact, research suggests that it will help you have a healthy relationship by giving you more time to focus on things other than your spouse.
Technology has provided us a plethora of ways to feel more connected despite the distance. | Photo by Szabolcs Toth on Unsplash
Be intimate even when you aren't physically present.
What about movie nights? Online games? Cooking together - all of these activities are available with only a click and video calling. Any activity that you do perform together and share with each other will help you reignite your relationship’s passion.
Technology exists, and it provides us with a plethora of fun methods to communicate with one another. It doesn’t also have to be technology-related; you may go back to writing handwritten letters, which will take longer but will make the gesture sweeter, more personal, and intimate for each other.
Communication
This includes both doing and not doing it.
Some may argue that in this type of relationship, you must constantly communicate, but this is merely a theory that cannot guarantee everyone’s success.
You are not obligated to follow it.
Some people believe that keeping each other informed strengthens their relationship, while others believe that it is too exhausting to do so all of the time. Plus, too much will always be bad. It will even come to the point of suffocation.
Make a set of rules. How much time are you willing and able to devote to making phone calls? When are you available to call so that it does not disrupt your day? Talking about minor matters like these will be beneficial to both of you in the long term.
Remind one another of the qualities you admire in each other
“I miss your nagging.”
“I miss the way you scold me for not cleaning up after myself.”
Here’s how to show love in a long distance relationship: make a list of all the things you love and miss about each other, from the simplest, funniest things to the most sincere one. A simple verbal assurance will go a long way, even if it seems corny.
It reduces tension, worry, and uncertainties, reducing improper behavior and the likelihood of cheating.
Long distance couples may bear more weight on their shoulders but they are like any usual couple. | Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash
It’s the same sensation, emotion, and desire. The only distinction is the distance that separates you.
Studies have even confirmed that absence does make the heart grow fonder. This is due to the fact that long-distance spouses have less opportunities to interact. As a result, they tend to communicate better and open up about deeper difficulties than individuals who are spending time with their spouses more.
It’s not to imply that long-distance relationships are better or that you have to be apart to have a good relationship. Rather, it’s to show that, despite being apart, these couples can still nurture their affection.
So, just because you are geographically separated doesn’t mean you need to give up romance and the possibility of a happy ever after that easily.
